Heterosexuality and the Sanctity of Marrage

"—it's clear that straight people see heterosexual monogamy as highly dispensable. Straight people long ago gave up on "one of the great ideas of Western civilization," a.k.a. "one man, one woman, for life." And there are no signs that straight people want to return to the bad old days of impossible-to-dissolve marriages that frequently owed their longevity to the economic and legal enslavement of women. " Dan Savage reviewing Ross Douthat





I am often amazed at the surprise some people express when they find out how long Himself and I've been married. Really??, I thought that was the point. What about Mom and Dad and their 60+ years, that's amazing, but really only because they are both still here. They had every intention of staying the course, so they did.


It's work, it's about intention


But gay people don't understand and are going to screw it up? PHFFFT!!


Commitment is commitment.


Lot's of gay people I know are many, many years partnered, just as many as my straight acquaintances. And there are several in both camps who are single, willingly or not. I also have some hetero friends who are partnered but not married, for a variety of reasons.

I also know several people who are into what appears to be disposable relationships. They never commit, or over commit, or just plain aren't willing to stick when things get difficult. I don't hang out with them much.

Once upon a time a "friend" counseled me to move on from my husband because of his serious illness. They saw the relationship as not worth pursuing because there was too much work and it would cost too much. At the time he was not expected to live more than a couple of years, and was incredibly difficult to live with (he was really sick??), but I never considered leaving him as an option. That was over 25 years ago, and he's still here, the "friend" is long gone.

I was pretty mystified that my friend could think that was an appropriate approach, but that was before I met a couple who split because he wanted to date someone else (surprisingly, now I recognise a kind of chivalry that at least he waited until he told his wife and moved out) and another couple who split after she had been involved in several affairs -they evidently had different conceptions of the boundaries of their marriage.

We never had the traditional words at our marriage ceremony, the "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part", but I never thought that it wasn't implicit. Our intention has always been to stay together.

All that said, I have never felt threatened by same sex couples, and I really don't see how one could be. It's not like I'm worried some guy is going to steal my husband. They aren't his type, and I've seen what happens when women play up to him - he's a terrible flirt, but for the most part he's so oblivious he doesn't notice until it's pointed out.

Not threatened here.