Obviously, another controversial thought has wandered through and I am compelled to write something about it.
This is actually the result of two separate posts today: one about dogs going to heaven and the other about the disposition of the souls of people who kill themselves. More, they were both about the mean things people say to the bereaved.
Having experienced the one, because people say things, often thinking they are helping, but without thought, when you lose a pet. And studiously kept the secret of the other, because people would have said mean things. I want to say a few words.
I remember a few years ago a wonderful email went around the spam circuit showing a series of reader board signs, a debate between a evangelical church on one side of the road an a Catholic church on the other. The first was "All Dogs Go To Heaven" on the Catholic church, and then a rebuttal from the other side of the street, and it went on several panels from there.
Of course I have an opinion about that! If my love objects aren't going to heaven, or Heaven, I'm not interested in whatever it is. Maybe it comes from Reading "The Bridge Across Forever" too young and being impressed with radical thought, but I don't think so. To my way of thinking, if love is involved, the Divine, by whatever name, cannot be exclusionary.
Yes, I am aware of the argument about animals not having souls, but having loved and been loved by a series of wonderful beings clad in fur, I cannot agree. A canine can certainly be a finer friend than many people I know. Felines, well they express their loving natures differently and still, better than some human folks. Don't even start me on the equine set (although I've known a couple who behaved like mean girls, but I blamed their humans). I will let you who have reptile and avian friends form your own opinions, but won't exclude any one else's love objects either. I've lived with a bird (corvidea) and have friends who have snakes, but they really aren't my choice for urban spaces. Still, I asert that they go to Heaven, too.
Now for the other subject. I was reading a post about the mean things people said to the parents of a young man who killed himself, as they were leaving the funeral. Seriously "he's in Hell", "his soul will never rest". WTF?? Some people' beliefs are a little frightening.
Suicide has got to be the most difficult thing I can imagine. Just last fall my neighbor lost a child to what may have been suicide, or an accidental overdose (aren't they by definition accidental?). The pain of that loss was so hard to see. In our minds the loss of any child is wrong in the natural order, but the added stigma of it maybe being a suicide?? Just that someone would rather think of their child as a drug user than having taken their own life is so sad.
Many years ago my then boyfriend died in a car accident with his best friend. It was catastrophic and it was impossible to determine who had been driving, let alone what caused the wreck.
For over 25 years I did not tell anyone that it wasn't an accident, he had left me a note. At the time, I could not have given that note to anyone. His parents were devastated as it was. I knew he was a much wanted younger child with a much older sibling, but didn't know until visiting with them weeks afterward that I was the only girl he had ever brought home. How could I add to the tragedy by letting them know he was so unhappy he wanted to die? By their beliefs he would have been consigned to Hell, they would never see him again, and he would have had to be re-interred outside the family cemetery plot ~ outside the whole cemetery.
At the time I was young and confused about a lot of things, but I knew that it would have been cruel to take what little consolation reuniting in an afterlife could be. I have always believed in something, and it was not well defined then, but now I would say it this way ~ all souls return to God, in whatever framework you see IT. To me, the Deity is all encompassing Love, and we are pieces of that, manifesting it to some degree or another in our everyday lives.
God is, God loves, we are as little or as much of that as we can handle expressing at any given time and our furry friends, and the people who can't see that they are also part of that still get to reunite with the totality when they are done on this plane.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
On authors and categories and confusion
Well, I can't say that I never read romance novels, because that would be a complete lie. I certainly don't consider myself too good to read them, or anything else for that matter. Those of you who know me know that I read almost anything that comes along. And, in need of a book, a formulaic romance is as time killing as anything and requires no real mental effort.
I also read the same book over again, sometimes because I re-bought it in a new cover (Argh - there is a book budget after all!!) and sometimes because it happens to be handy and I DON'T HAVE A BOOK! That is the real crux of things, not having a book can be critical in a lot of situations, like every time there's a waiting room involved.
However, the point of this little diatribe is that I found a perfectly lovely little novel at Third Place Books on the SF/Fantasy cart that had a little magic, a little more lust than necessary, but not gagging, and some quality of story (that means I wanted to finish it, as opposed to not caring).
Soooo, I went looking at Half Price ( I know, but it's close and I was just looking) for some more by the same author, and got an bit of new information. There is (maybe nowhere else) a category called "Paranormal Romance", I mean shelf labels and everything, a whole row! I was stunned.
I did discover that most of them involved vampires which is probably why I've not been in that area before, and the only other volume that they had by the author I was looking for was #3 in another series.
Oh well, it's a long weekend, I may get to Third Place or Village Books.
I also read the same book over again, sometimes because I re-bought it in a new cover (Argh - there is a book budget after all!!) and sometimes because it happens to be handy and I DON'T HAVE A BOOK! That is the real crux of things, not having a book can be critical in a lot of situations, like every time there's a waiting room involved.
However, the point of this little diatribe is that I found a perfectly lovely little novel at Third Place Books on the SF/Fantasy cart that had a little magic, a little more lust than necessary, but not gagging, and some quality of story (that means I wanted to finish it, as opposed to not caring).
Soooo, I went looking at Half Price ( I know, but it's close and I was just looking) for some more by the same author, and got an bit of new information. There is (maybe nowhere else) a category called "Paranormal Romance", I mean shelf labels and everything, a whole row! I was stunned.
I did discover that most of them involved vampires which is probably why I've not been in that area before, and the only other volume that they had by the author I was looking for was #3 in another series.
Oh well, it's a long weekend, I may get to Third Place or Village Books.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wonder.....
I do believe that people live up to, or down to, what is expected of them, or (as has recently occured to me) what they believe is expected of them.
Communication is so crappy between humans, even those who communicate well go off the rails some times, and it is actually a miracle to me that information is shared as well as it is.
Of course, to me it goes back to that expectations thing. We are so much our socialization, our enculturalization, that even when presented with a radically different format, we can't recognise it as different - our expectations are too set.
Likely you have have heard, in late night paper finishing, article writing, report preparation, the phrase "we see what we expect to see" referring to someone often being unable to edit their own work because they know what it is supposed to say. (Not unlike the occasional typo or the like in this blog).
That is how I have come to see relationships between humans. Not just those ones referred to as "primary", but at some level or another, all of them.
We know that if you take a room full of kids and divide them into groups, then tell them one group is "smart", one is "average" and one is "slow", they will perform to order. Even when particularly assigned to the wrong group.
I have come to understand that people raised in families, whatever label put on the upbringing, expect that everyone else came from similar situations. So, simplistically, if you were raised in a stable, supportive, encouraging household, you expect that everyone else has had that same experience, at least until you are educated otherwise. Conversely, if you are raised in an unstable, abusive, non-supportive or similar household, you expect that situation for everyone else. And, even if educated otherwise, your early training has established habits which persist in your behaviors towards others.
So, that's a long way to get to expectations, but as I see it, if you are raised with expectations of success, you expect success, and if you aren't, you don't. It seems to be a difficult thing to change. I work with that principle with employees, and have seen people so caught in their history that compliments are seen as criticism, and affirmations of ability are seen as a setup. I have also seen the other side, people who are so accustomed to always being praised or complimented, but if they are corrected or criticised at all, it is taken as a devastating slam.
Communication is so crappy between humans, even those who communicate well go off the rails some times, and it is actually a miracle to me that information is shared as well as it is.
Of course, to me it goes back to that expectations thing. We are so much our socialization, our enculturalization, that even when presented with a radically different format, we can't recognise it as different - our expectations are too set.
Likely you have have heard, in late night paper finishing, article writing, report preparation, the phrase "we see what we expect to see" referring to someone often being unable to edit their own work because they know what it is supposed to say. (Not unlike the occasional typo or the like in this blog).
That is how I have come to see relationships between humans. Not just those ones referred to as "primary", but at some level or another, all of them.
We know that if you take a room full of kids and divide them into groups, then tell them one group is "smart", one is "average" and one is "slow", they will perform to order. Even when particularly assigned to the wrong group.
I have come to understand that people raised in families, whatever label put on the upbringing, expect that everyone else came from similar situations. So, simplistically, if you were raised in a stable, supportive, encouraging household, you expect that everyone else has had that same experience, at least until you are educated otherwise. Conversely, if you are raised in an unstable, abusive, non-supportive or similar household, you expect that situation for everyone else. And, even if educated otherwise, your early training has established habits which persist in your behaviors towards others.
So, that's a long way to get to expectations, but as I see it, if you are raised with expectations of success, you expect success, and if you aren't, you don't. It seems to be a difficult thing to change. I work with that principle with employees, and have seen people so caught in their history that compliments are seen as criticism, and affirmations of ability are seen as a setup. I have also seen the other side, people who are so accustomed to always being praised or complimented, but if they are corrected or criticised at all, it is taken as a devastating slam.
Monday, August 16, 2010
What do I want to be when I grow up??
I was just poking along, you know, totally overwhelmed by my life and obligations as usual, and posting positive, inspirational thoughts on my FB status. Then, my friend Jan posts "so, when are you going to ministerial school"?
She and I were in classes together several years ago, working our way through the steps of course work to qualify to apply to the Unity Ministerial School. And, she did. I didn't, because I had small people in my life and other obligations, etc., as usual.
But, she wasn't accepted. So, the next thing we are talking about is what that means, and probably there is another path that's a better alternative, and she goes and finds The New Seminary on line. And signs up!
She started as a correspondence student, after going to NY and interviewing, but sometime between September and January she experienced a big shift, and boom, she packed up or sold everything and moved to New York to become a "totally immersed seminarian". Now, if you look up their web site, she is one of the folks in their graduation pictures.
She is an incredibly talented musician, and composer and teacher - I forgot to mention that she was my voice coach for a while - and has made a place for herself in Connecticut.
She is doing what we dreamed of so many years ago.
Which caused me to reflect on a conversation I had with my sister-in-law's sister at a large family gathering, talking about being afraid to speak in public. I was relaying the story of another friend, Racquel, who taught Sunday school with me when our children were little. We were so afraid to speak in public that we would hold hands and shake in front of our own congregation doing announcements. We decided that we could not go on that way and took steps to get past it.
She and her husband also took Unity ministerial classes together with Jan and I.
She and her husband also applied to Unity School, and were accepted, but at the last minute decided not to go. However, she continued with her studies through a field program and is now a Unity minister and has started her second church.
In thinking about it I find I still want to be a full practicing minister. It is all well and good to be able to marry people, but I also want to have a center with study groups, discussion sessions, worship services and musical celebrations.
Oh my God, what does that mean? As usual, I get myself tangled in the steps - how to proceed.
What about all the things I have to get done in my current everyday world?
Fixing the house or letting it go? Finding the funding to do the fixing. Spending the weeks to clean it up either way, and getting Himself to agree to each individual step, up to and including having people in and around our house creating chaos and such. It even looks chaotic written down.
Talking the classes, committing to a course that will take at least two years to complete, but does not involve living in Kansas City at all.
Getting credentials that are recognised by most churches.
Finding a place, or having a home that has a place to start out. Holding courses, speaking where they'll have me, building a foundation.
She and I were in classes together several years ago, working our way through the steps of course work to qualify to apply to the Unity Ministerial School. And, she did. I didn't, because I had small people in my life and other obligations, etc., as usual.
But, she wasn't accepted. So, the next thing we are talking about is what that means, and probably there is another path that's a better alternative, and she goes and finds The New Seminary on line. And signs up!
She started as a correspondence student, after going to NY and interviewing, but sometime between September and January she experienced a big shift, and boom, she packed up or sold everything and moved to New York to become a "totally immersed seminarian". Now, if you look up their web site, she is one of the folks in their graduation pictures.
She is an incredibly talented musician, and composer and teacher - I forgot to mention that she was my voice coach for a while - and has made a place for herself in Connecticut.
She is doing what we dreamed of so many years ago.
Which caused me to reflect on a conversation I had with my sister-in-law's sister at a large family gathering, talking about being afraid to speak in public. I was relaying the story of another friend, Racquel, who taught Sunday school with me when our children were little. We were so afraid to speak in public that we would hold hands and shake in front of our own congregation doing announcements. We decided that we could not go on that way and took steps to get past it.
She and her husband also took Unity ministerial classes together with Jan and I.
She and her husband also applied to Unity School, and were accepted, but at the last minute decided not to go. However, she continued with her studies through a field program and is now a Unity minister and has started her second church.
In thinking about it I find I still want to be a full practicing minister. It is all well and good to be able to marry people, but I also want to have a center with study groups, discussion sessions, worship services and musical celebrations.
Oh my God, what does that mean? As usual, I get myself tangled in the steps - how to proceed.
What about all the things I have to get done in my current everyday world?
Fixing the house or letting it go? Finding the funding to do the fixing. Spending the weeks to clean it up either way, and getting Himself to agree to each individual step, up to and including having people in and around our house creating chaos and such. It even looks chaotic written down.
Talking the classes, committing to a course that will take at least two years to complete, but does not involve living in Kansas City at all.
Getting credentials that are recognised by most churches.
Finding a place, or having a home that has a place to start out. Holding courses, speaking where they'll have me, building a foundation.
I am toying with the idea as a five year plan. Starting now.....?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Heterosexuality and the Sanctity of Marrage
"—it's clear that straight people see heterosexual monogamy as highly dispensable. Straight people long ago gave up on "one of the great ideas of Western civilization," a.k.a. "one man, one woman, for life." And there are no signs that straight people want to return to the bad old days of impossible-to-dissolve marriages that frequently owed their longevity to the economic and legal enslavement of women. " Dan Savage reviewing Ross Douthat
I am often amazed at the surprise some people express when they find out how long Himself and I've been married. Really??, I thought that was the point. What about Mom and Dad and their 60+ years, that's amazing, but really only because they are both still here. They had every intention of staying the course, so they did.
It's work, it's about intention
But gay people don't understand and are going to screw it up? PHFFFT!!
Commitment is commitment.
Lot's of gay people I know are many, many years partnered, just as many as my straight acquaintances. And there are several in both camps who are single, willingly or not. I also have some hetero friends who are partnered but not married, for a variety of reasons.
I also know several people who are into what appears to be disposable relationships. They never commit, or over commit, or just plain aren't willing to stick when things get difficult. I don't hang out with them much.
Once upon a time a "friend" counseled me to move on from my husband because of his serious illness. They saw the relationship as not worth pursuing because there was too much work and it would cost too much. At the time he was not expected to live more than a couple of years, and was incredibly difficult to live with (he was really sick??), but I never considered leaving him as an option. That was over 25 years ago, and he's still here, the "friend" is long gone.
I was pretty mystified that my friend could think that was an appropriate approach, but that was before I met a couple who split because he wanted to date someone else (surprisingly, now I recognise a kind of chivalry that at least he waited until he told his wife and moved out) and another couple who split after she had been involved in several affairs -they evidently had different conceptions of the boundaries of their marriage.
We never had the traditional words at our marriage ceremony, the "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part", but I never thought that it wasn't implicit. Our intention has always been to stay together.
All that said, I have never felt threatened by same sex couples, and I really don't see how one could be. It's not like I'm worried some guy is going to steal my husband. They aren't his type, and I've seen what happens when women play up to him - he's a terrible flirt, but for the most part he's so oblivious he doesn't notice until it's pointed out.
Not threatened here.
I am often amazed at the surprise some people express when they find out how long Himself and I've been married. Really??, I thought that was the point. What about Mom and Dad and their 60+ years, that's amazing, but really only because they are both still here. They had every intention of staying the course, so they did.
It's work, it's about intention
But gay people don't understand and are going to screw it up? PHFFFT!!
Commitment is commitment.
Lot's of gay people I know are many, many years partnered, just as many as my straight acquaintances. And there are several in both camps who are single, willingly or not. I also have some hetero friends who are partnered but not married, for a variety of reasons.
I also know several people who are into what appears to be disposable relationships. They never commit, or over commit, or just plain aren't willing to stick when things get difficult. I don't hang out with them much.
Once upon a time a "friend" counseled me to move on from my husband because of his serious illness. They saw the relationship as not worth pursuing because there was too much work and it would cost too much. At the time he was not expected to live more than a couple of years, and was incredibly difficult to live with (he was really sick??), but I never considered leaving him as an option. That was over 25 years ago, and he's still here, the "friend" is long gone.
I was pretty mystified that my friend could think that was an appropriate approach, but that was before I met a couple who split because he wanted to date someone else (surprisingly, now I recognise a kind of chivalry that at least he waited until he told his wife and moved out) and another couple who split after she had been involved in several affairs -they evidently had different conceptions of the boundaries of their marriage.
We never had the traditional words at our marriage ceremony, the "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part", but I never thought that it wasn't implicit. Our intention has always been to stay together.
All that said, I have never felt threatened by same sex couples, and I really don't see how one could be. It's not like I'm worried some guy is going to steal my husband. They aren't his type, and I've seen what happens when women play up to him - he's a terrible flirt, but for the most part he's so oblivious he doesn't notice until it's pointed out.
Not threatened here.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Some Summer Fish and Chips Reviews
I think that, sometimes, fish and chips can be the perfect food. but, in order to justify the calories from being fried, it has to be above average. While we were on vacation I took notes, since the first thing my husband wants when we go to the ocean is F&C and I thought it might be interesting to compare what we discovered.
We started with a place recommended by the receptionist at the condo - Alec's by the Sea in Ocean Shores. That was a really good tip, not only was the fish part fresh halibut that had been filleted and breaded right before it was cooked, the fries were fresh made and really good. The fish breading was a very light, crisp tempura - we actually went back before leaving town to get more.
One day Himself really wanted to go somewhere special (??!!??) so we went to the restaurant at the Shilo Inn. there was really nothing I can say about the food, except for the salsa fresca, obviously made there, was delightful, the accompanying tortilla chips were simply awful, my fish taco was a disaster of fried chunks of tough, previously (and long time) frozen cod and a chipotle aioli was much like Miracle Whip with powdered chili added. Himself said his was the best clam chowder that he'd had in a long time, and he really needs to get out more, 'cause I thought it was a lot like bland paste. However, the hot, multi grain bread with it was yummy.
We also tried Mike's Seafood Co., which is a fish market with a restaurant in back. Their F&C was halibut with a light, crispy coating, and they had really good fries. I would go back there again.
So, just to validate the search and ground ourselves back at home, we went back to our favorite local place yesterday. I think the best local F&C are found at Tin Fish in Mukilteo. (Fortunately, they are only 10 minutes away.)They have such an extensive menu there is really something for everyone, but the F&C remains our dish of choice. Like everywhere, we share, and we also share an order of their chips and salsa. The chips are homemade and different enough to be special, and we always order extra salsa. The fish is coated with something like a crumb coating, light and crunchy. the fries are home made and taste like - - gasp - - potatoes!!
We may have to go somewhere else soon to try again.
We started with a place recommended by the receptionist at the condo - Alec's by the Sea in Ocean Shores. That was a really good tip, not only was the fish part fresh halibut that had been filleted and breaded right before it was cooked, the fries were fresh made and really good. The fish breading was a very light, crisp tempura - we actually went back before leaving town to get more.
One day Himself really wanted to go somewhere special (??!!??) so we went to the restaurant at the Shilo Inn. there was really nothing I can say about the food, except for the salsa fresca, obviously made there, was delightful, the accompanying tortilla chips were simply awful, my fish taco was a disaster of fried chunks of tough, previously (and long time) frozen cod and a chipotle aioli was much like Miracle Whip with powdered chili added. Himself said his was the best clam chowder that he'd had in a long time, and he really needs to get out more, 'cause I thought it was a lot like bland paste. However, the hot, multi grain bread with it was yummy.
We also tried Mike's Seafood Co., which is a fish market with a restaurant in back. Their F&C was halibut with a light, crispy coating, and they had really good fries. I would go back there again.
So, just to validate the search and ground ourselves back at home, we went back to our favorite local place yesterday. I think the best local F&C are found at Tin Fish in Mukilteo. (Fortunately, they are only 10 minutes away.)They have such an extensive menu there is really something for everyone, but the F&C remains our dish of choice. Like everywhere, we share, and we also share an order of their chips and salsa. The chips are homemade and different enough to be special, and we always order extra salsa. The fish is coated with something like a crumb coating, light and crunchy. the fries are home made and taste like - - gasp - - potatoes!!
We may have to go somewhere else soon to try again.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Summer Blues
It has been a long time since I had time to sit down and write something. Life has been very complicated this year, not that that is unusual in our house, but it has had some different aspects. Primarily, this year it has been my Dad's health that has been the biggest issue, not Himself's, which is a major change.
It started in February or March, and Dad finally had aortic valve replacement June 17th. then there was the very difficult first few days, where his reactions to the medications,surgery and heart/lung machine produced some effects and behaviors that scared him and a couple of family members.
If you ever know someone who goes through heart surgery, or any other that requires a hear/lung machine, be prepared for something called ICU dementia, (or "pump head", depending on the hospital you are in.) Every patient experiences it differently, but you can imagine how that impact, combined with all of the sedatives and other very powerful drugs, can cause some one's mind to be a little off track.
It would have been much easier if my brother hadn't freaked out, since Dad was upset by it already and thought he was losing his mind, and I had to remind everyone (including the nurses) to reassure him that it was temporary.
Reminding me, talk with the nurses a lot. I was dumbfounded to find out that they had Dad noted for difficulty swallowing, which means they really bring awful food and those Glucerna drinks, and the whole problem wasn't that he couldn't swallow, he just wasn't interested in eating anything that came on the tray. Once we figured it out and mom started bringing home canned fruit, sandwiches on their favorite bread and her special cookies, things started to turn around. Not that it's all great yet, those drugs make everything taste weird, and even the old favorites may not be appealing.
Another issue to talk with the nurses about, the Physical Therapist noted that Dad had right side weakness because he couldn't get up when he was working with him. What Dad and I both tried to tell him was the aggressive movement he was using trying to swing Dad out of bed had produced vertigo and that was why Dad couldn't follow through. That guy was really obtuse and I would have told him not to come back, but sometimes Dad is even more stubborn than I.
After spending much less time than we had anticipated in a pretty serious rehab facility Dad went home on July 17th, and is slowly improving. Yesterday he took himself out to the pickle ball court and just walked around there for some exercise. And, a PT person was supposed to visit him today, but I haven't heard what happened with that.
Actually, some of the summer hasn't been blue, but when my car blew up on Monday it kind of leveled the really great weekend I had just had at camp with my youth group. Check my FB for pictures from the event, there aren't enough superlatives for how much I enjoyed the people and activities that I experienced at camp. And, the whole car thing could have been so much worse, but that will be another blog.
It started in February or March, and Dad finally had aortic valve replacement June 17th. then there was the very difficult first few days, where his reactions to the medications,surgery and heart/lung machine produced some effects and behaviors that scared him and a couple of family members.
If you ever know someone who goes through heart surgery, or any other that requires a hear/lung machine, be prepared for something called ICU dementia, (or "pump head", depending on the hospital you are in.) Every patient experiences it differently, but you can imagine how that impact, combined with all of the sedatives and other very powerful drugs, can cause some one's mind to be a little off track.
It would have been much easier if my brother hadn't freaked out, since Dad was upset by it already and thought he was losing his mind, and I had to remind everyone (including the nurses) to reassure him that it was temporary.
Reminding me, talk with the nurses a lot. I was dumbfounded to find out that they had Dad noted for difficulty swallowing, which means they really bring awful food and those Glucerna drinks, and the whole problem wasn't that he couldn't swallow, he just wasn't interested in eating anything that came on the tray. Once we figured it out and mom started bringing home canned fruit, sandwiches on their favorite bread and her special cookies, things started to turn around. Not that it's all great yet, those drugs make everything taste weird, and even the old favorites may not be appealing.
Another issue to talk with the nurses about, the Physical Therapist noted that Dad had right side weakness because he couldn't get up when he was working with him. What Dad and I both tried to tell him was the aggressive movement he was using trying to swing Dad out of bed had produced vertigo and that was why Dad couldn't follow through. That guy was really obtuse and I would have told him not to come back, but sometimes Dad is even more stubborn than I.
After spending much less time than we had anticipated in a pretty serious rehab facility Dad went home on July 17th, and is slowly improving. Yesterday he took himself out to the pickle ball court and just walked around there for some exercise. And, a PT person was supposed to visit him today, but I haven't heard what happened with that.
Actually, some of the summer hasn't been blue, but when my car blew up on Monday it kind of leveled the really great weekend I had just had at camp with my youth group. Check my FB for pictures from the event, there aren't enough superlatives for how much I enjoyed the people and activities that I experienced at camp. And, the whole car thing could have been so much worse, but that will be another blog.
Friday, May 28, 2010
The Retributive Workplace, or WHY do I still work here?
So, I had this very interesting conversation with my big boss. I (of course) questioned some inappropriate behavior on the part of some middle management folks. What I consider the using a hammer rather than a flyswatter approach, and got his rather specious explanation.
It seems, since we in gubbmint are under so much scrutiny, what with all the public disclosure requests and such, we are going to see more "definitive" approaches to direction. Rather than get a warning or a discussion about what is needed, there will be more written reprimands and performance improvement plans issued.
I, of course, find this approach not only antithetical to all of our supervisory trainings, but unprofessional and unethical. If we are going to go ballistic for minor things, where is there room for progression if major problems occur? Where is the respect and assumption of professionalism? We are working in an atmosphere of nerves and suspicion. An increasingly hostile and retributive environment that batters staff morale and grievously affects production.
I have been attempting to counter this pervasive mentality with an affirmative outlook, but I find myself increasingly feeling depressed and helpless.
Is this everywhere? Is this the new professional workplace?
It seems, since we in gubbmint are under so much scrutiny, what with all the public disclosure requests and such, we are going to see more "definitive" approaches to direction. Rather than get a warning or a discussion about what is needed, there will be more written reprimands and performance improvement plans issued.
Evidently we are so afraid of what happens when a few really bad managers/directors make the news we are going to over react so that we can document that our butts are covered. We can't seem to get rid of a management team that is openly passing dirty pictures around on office email until they are outed for such egregious behaviour in public that the local papers bring it up in every article, related or not, but we can now punish people for minor infractions so it looks like we really took care of business.
I, of course, find this approach not only antithetical to all of our supervisory trainings, but unprofessional and unethical. If we are going to go ballistic for minor things, where is there room for progression if major problems occur? Where is the respect and assumption of professionalism? We are working in an atmosphere of nerves and suspicion. An increasingly hostile and retributive environment that batters staff morale and grievously affects production.
I have been attempting to counter this pervasive mentality with an affirmative outlook, but I find myself increasingly feeling depressed and helpless.
Is this everywhere? Is this the new professional workplace?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sometimes When We Touch
This was oridinally written on June 7, and for some reason dropped ito my draft box and not recovered and final edited until 7/29. But, it says it was written on May 13 - I don't get that at all. So, here it is....
"You ask me if I love you, and I choke on my reply.
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie.
But who am I to judge you and what you say or do,
I'm only just beginning, to see the real you."
[Dan Hill]
Yesterday was our anniversary and this is the first line of "our song" from when we started dating in 1976. Our first date was for coffee at Tony's in Fairhaven. We had known each other for well over a year, and were least likely to get together, all of our friends told us that, and kept pairing us up anyway. We were the only single people invited to so many dinners and such, and then the primary instigator was soooo mad at me for years after we made it official. Funny how that works.
It has not been an effortless run, there have been enough challenges that I have often asked God for a "little talk", and several times have wondered if I seriously harmed someone in a past life .
I never trained to be a nurse, but I sure have a lot of OJT
But, you don't get to choose what you get. Like having children, being married is an ongoing evolve-ment of coping and accommodating. occasionally it needs a moderator, or translator, and we have done that, and will probably do so again.
Commitment is a funny thing, if we knew how things were going to turn out we probably wouldn't get into this in the first place.
"You ask me if I love you, and I choke on my reply.
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie.
But who am I to judge you and what you say or do,
I'm only just beginning, to see the real you."
[Dan Hill]
Yesterday was our anniversary and this is the first line of "our song" from when we started dating in 1976. Our first date was for coffee at Tony's in Fairhaven. We had known each other for well over a year, and were least likely to get together, all of our friends told us that, and kept pairing us up anyway. We were the only single people invited to so many dinners and such, and then the primary instigator was soooo mad at me for years after we made it official. Funny how that works.
It has not been an effortless run, there have been enough challenges that I have often asked God for a "little talk", and several times have wondered if I seriously harmed someone in a past life .
I never trained to be a nurse, but I sure have a lot of OJT
But, you don't get to choose what you get. Like having children, being married is an ongoing evolve-ment of coping and accommodating. occasionally it needs a moderator, or translator, and we have done that, and will probably do so again.
Commitment is a funny thing, if we knew how things were going to turn out we probably wouldn't get into this in the first place.
Monday, May 10, 2010
On Mother's Day
I had a really great Mother's Day, as those things go, I got to spend most of the day with people I love, doing things I enjoy. pretty super actually.
I went to church in the a.m., and was pretty frustrated at the antics of the kids, but overall a good morning and then a brief chance to connect with adult friends and exchange Mother's Day greetings.
I was home to eat lunch and pack up himself and some contributions for dinner, and we were off. We picked up our son and then continued to the closest Haggens so the guys could get an extra lunch for himself and brunch for son. And I could get a card for my mother since I had neglected to do so earlier. (I know, but it's now an ingrained habit).
On arriving at the parental residence we found them in the back yard, Papa having decided to try a walk and it was so nice he just sat out there for an hour or more. We visited for while and Papa said he'd like some pruning done, so Himself and Son grabbed loppers and set to work. this is not an unusual pastime for Himself, he likes to fuss with landscaping and such when he feels well, but I think it was a first for Son, I know it was a first for him to use a pitch fork.
And I got a BIG first - Papa let me drive the tractor!! I can drive, of course, but hadn't been offered the controls of the special toy before. What fund, I had to get a crash course in shifting and the hydraulics, and I was off ~ at about 2 mph, but....
In any event, the guys cut and then loaded the brush into the bucket on the tractor and I drove it back to unload. Twice!!
All that and sunshine :-) (and the Mariners won, helping Papa's outlook).
Oh, and I was still wearing a skirt and flip-flops, so tempting fate also, but didn't rip anything or grab any stinging nettles, or any of the other feats I often manage when confronted with wild
fauna and such,
Son and I filled the bird and squirrel feeders, and all the time we were outside there was a family of red squirrels eating and chirping at each other and us. The red squirrels are the preferred attendees at the feeders, the grey squirrels are the "bad guys" that the parents try to discourage.
We had a nice summer type of salad supper with a lot of good stories. Capped by carrot cake. Mom's favorite.
There was lots of discussion about the upcoming Tuesday trip to the UW for a cardiac consult regarding the possibility of Papa getting a new procedure for heart valve replacement, and the Thursday visit to the local cardiologist. Papa seems pretty much resigned to the possibility of open heart surgery if the UW review doesn't pan out.
Then - reality Monday - - the trip to the UW is off. It seems that the GH referral was flawed, the named cardiologist was wrong, the one who was scheduled isn't approved by the insurance carrier, or some such, and the capper, the appointment, although arranged by my sister, and confirmed by Papa himself, was done in the wrong name, which further flummoxed GH. OF COURSE, it was just his first and last names reversed, but that is evidently insurmountable, and the wrong Dr. part is completely unimaginable in the GH world.
Poor Mom, she spent the whole day on the phone trying to straighten the mess out and it appears that there is a layer of depression sinking in up there.
Time to pray for the Highest and Best outcomes and let it go? Probably, but that will likely work better for me than for them.
I went to church in the a.m., and was pretty frustrated at the antics of the kids, but overall a good morning and then a brief chance to connect with adult friends and exchange Mother's Day greetings.
I was home to eat lunch and pack up himself and some contributions for dinner, and we were off. We picked up our son and then continued to the closest Haggens so the guys could get an extra lunch for himself and brunch for son. And I could get a card for my mother since I had neglected to do so earlier. (I know, but it's now an ingrained habit).
On arriving at the parental residence we found them in the back yard, Papa having decided to try a walk and it was so nice he just sat out there for an hour or more. We visited for while and Papa said he'd like some pruning done, so Himself and Son grabbed loppers and set to work. this is not an unusual pastime for Himself, he likes to fuss with landscaping and such when he feels well, but I think it was a first for Son, I know it was a first for him to use a pitch fork.
And I got a BIG first - Papa let me drive the tractor!! I can drive, of course, but hadn't been offered the controls of the special toy before. What fund, I had to get a crash course in shifting and the hydraulics, and I was off ~ at about 2 mph, but....
In any event, the guys cut and then loaded the brush into the bucket on the tractor and I drove it back to unload. Twice!!
All that and sunshine :-) (and the Mariners won, helping Papa's outlook).
Oh, and I was still wearing a skirt and flip-flops, so tempting fate also, but didn't rip anything or grab any stinging nettles, or any of the other feats I often manage when confronted with wild
fauna and such,
Son and I filled the bird and squirrel feeders, and all the time we were outside there was a family of red squirrels eating and chirping at each other and us. The red squirrels are the preferred attendees at the feeders, the grey squirrels are the "bad guys" that the parents try to discourage.
We had a nice summer type of salad supper with a lot of good stories. Capped by carrot cake. Mom's favorite.
There was lots of discussion about the upcoming Tuesday trip to the UW for a cardiac consult regarding the possibility of Papa getting a new procedure for heart valve replacement, and the Thursday visit to the local cardiologist. Papa seems pretty much resigned to the possibility of open heart surgery if the UW review doesn't pan out.
Then - reality Monday - - the trip to the UW is off. It seems that the GH referral was flawed, the named cardiologist was wrong, the one who was scheduled isn't approved by the insurance carrier, or some such, and the capper, the appointment, although arranged by my sister, and confirmed by Papa himself, was done in the wrong name, which further flummoxed GH. OF COURSE, it was just his first and last names reversed, but that is evidently insurmountable, and the wrong Dr. part is completely unimaginable in the GH world.
Poor Mom, she spent the whole day on the phone trying to straighten the mess out and it appears that there is a layer of depression sinking in up there.
Time to pray for the Highest and Best outcomes and let it go? Probably, but that will likely work better for me than for them.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Yes, as a matter of fact, it IS my road!!
OK, so it's a "public highway", but at least you could use it correctly. Here are a few hints on how you could at least make my drive better, and right now, I don't particularly care about your point of view.
If you are changing lanes, please use the new fangled things called turn signals before you move over. If your car dates before 1950 you are excused, it's too late for me to talk about arm signals tonight.
If all the other cars on the road have their lights on, turn on yours, otherwise (especially on really rainy days like today) you disappear.
And, if driving in rain makes you nervous, consider: 1) not driving, or 2) moving to somewhere dry. It rains here about 300 days a year, sometimes very hard, it's not a surprise.
Wet pavement produces a lot of spray, if you are traveling too close on dry days it's dangerous ('cause, really, you can't stop) but on wet days, you also can't see. So, with double the dry day's emphasis - BACK the Hell OFF!!!
Flashing lights behind you mean move RIGHT, onto the shoulder if necessary, and slow down to a stop until the emergency vehicle passes - always. If it stays behind you while you pull over, stop, it's likely for you. (Note the buttons on the WSP uniform next time).
Did you know that it is illegal in Washington to drive in the left lane unless you are passing someone? Entering the freeway and immediately crossing over 3 lanes to plant your car at the speed limit in the fast lane is also stupid. All of the people who want to go faster will then do very stupid things to get around you. And, when your self righteous need to control other people's speed causes an accident, you might not be physically involved, but you certainly share moral responsibility. And, why do you care anyway, let the speeders go their way, and pay their fines when they get caught.
And, if you have a deep seated need to go 5 mph below the speed limit, do it in the right lane, period.
Remember the saying - lead follow, or get out of the way? I guess, in brief, just get off my road.
If you are changing lanes, please use the new fangled things called turn signals before you move over. If your car dates before 1950 you are excused, it's too late for me to talk about arm signals tonight.
If all the other cars on the road have their lights on, turn on yours, otherwise (especially on really rainy days like today) you disappear.
And, if driving in rain makes you nervous, consider: 1) not driving, or 2) moving to somewhere dry. It rains here about 300 days a year, sometimes very hard, it's not a surprise.
Wet pavement produces a lot of spray, if you are traveling too close on dry days it's dangerous ('cause, really, you can't stop) but on wet days, you also can't see. So, with double the dry day's emphasis - BACK the Hell OFF!!!
Flashing lights behind you mean move RIGHT, onto the shoulder if necessary, and slow down to a stop until the emergency vehicle passes - always. If it stays behind you while you pull over, stop, it's likely for you. (Note the buttons on the WSP uniform next time).
Did you know that it is illegal in Washington to drive in the left lane unless you are passing someone? Entering the freeway and immediately crossing over 3 lanes to plant your car at the speed limit in the fast lane is also stupid. All of the people who want to go faster will then do very stupid things to get around you. And, when your self righteous need to control other people's speed causes an accident, you might not be physically involved, but you certainly share moral responsibility. And, why do you care anyway, let the speeders go their way, and pay their fines when they get caught.
And, if you have a deep seated need to go 5 mph below the speed limit, do it in the right lane, period.
Remember the saying - lead follow, or get out of the way? I guess, in brief, just get off my road.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
On Guns and Old Guys and such
So today was the first time, since I left OK and TX, that there was a guy in my local grocery with a pistol on his hip.
I was really trying to figure out my reaction, when I came across him telling one of the staff why he was wearing a gun in the store. It was worth a linger over realtive merits of bagged chips. And it seems, his purpose is to reassure young women like her, and the elderly and frail, that they don't have to be worried about those "gangbangers and such" who want to shoot people . Guys like him will deter violence.
Then I realized what I was feeling - anxiety, and incredulity, mixed with a little downright hillarity.
Excuse me, Mr. ,you aren't a cop! Maybe you shoot at the range with your buddies once in a while, but you are not a trained specialist in public safety, and are well over the age when yuor reaction time starts to run rapidly away as your birthdays accumulate.
I know, because I'm younger than you and am well aware of the fact that things don't work like they used to, that's why most cops retire before they get to "late middle age".
You are the most dangerous thing on the street to me. Those gangbangers, thugs and miscreants are out there to be sure, and some of them are pretty frightening. But you, Mr. Lone Ranger wannabe, are really scary. The fate of innocent bystanders lies in a calm, steady, trained mind and temperment, and I would bet you aren't it.
Do you know that your "taking out the bad guy" endangers everyone near you? Not only escalating a situation that might not need guns, but those inacurate shots go somewhere, and you have no idea who might be there because you are so sure of your own skill - not only in truely identifying a real bad guy, but taking him out. What about the people behind him? What if it's just somebody's honor student in a hoodie and gangsta pants dragging past his knees who happens to cross your path and looks hinky to you - shoot first?
That's why cops are taught a lot of de-escalation techniques, using words instead of weapons.
If we are lucky the worst thing that will happen is, if you do run across some really bad guy, your own gun is used on you, not some family who happened to cross the street at the wrong time.
I was really trying to figure out my reaction, when I came across him telling one of the staff why he was wearing a gun in the store. It was worth a linger over realtive merits of bagged chips. And it seems, his purpose is to reassure young women like her, and the elderly and frail, that they don't have to be worried about those "gangbangers and such" who want to shoot people . Guys like him will deter violence.
Then I realized what I was feeling - anxiety, and incredulity, mixed with a little downright hillarity.
Excuse me, Mr. ,you aren't a cop! Maybe you shoot at the range with your buddies once in a while, but you are not a trained specialist in public safety, and are well over the age when yuor reaction time starts to run rapidly away as your birthdays accumulate.
I know, because I'm younger than you and am well aware of the fact that things don't work like they used to, that's why most cops retire before they get to "late middle age".
You are the most dangerous thing on the street to me. Those gangbangers, thugs and miscreants are out there to be sure, and some of them are pretty frightening. But you, Mr. Lone Ranger wannabe, are really scary. The fate of innocent bystanders lies in a calm, steady, trained mind and temperment, and I would bet you aren't it.
Do you know that your "taking out the bad guy" endangers everyone near you? Not only escalating a situation that might not need guns, but those inacurate shots go somewhere, and you have no idea who might be there because you are so sure of your own skill - not only in truely identifying a real bad guy, but taking him out. What about the people behind him? What if it's just somebody's honor student in a hoodie and gangsta pants dragging past his knees who happens to cross your path and looks hinky to you - shoot first?
That's why cops are taught a lot of de-escalation techniques, using words instead of weapons.
If we are lucky the worst thing that will happen is, if you do run across some really bad guy, your own gun is used on you, not some family who happened to cross the street at the wrong time.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
On writing
So, Fran held a contest, posed a question and asked for submittals. Of course, the prize is a book, and those who know me are well aware of my book issues. So, I went for it.
It was a pretty interesting prompt, and the response came to me almost immediately, but in my usual fashion, I wrote it as a word document and "hid" it on my desk top so that I could reconsider submittal. I kept going back to it and refining a little bit. In truth I didn't change much at all, just smoothed in into a short, short story. But I was still conflicted, I don't usually let people read my writing, I have never actually completed anything for years.
But, when she posted that time was running out, I bit the bullet and sent it before I changed my mind. And, she liked it, and I won a book. There were 4 winners, out of 8 submittals, I read them and they were really good, so I am flattered to be in that company.
That in itself is really cool, but something that really meant a lot to me was when I let Himself read it (that was very scary) he liked it too, in fact, he said that he wanted to know what was on the next page.
SO, maybe I'll have to take it the next step and see where it goes - if it wants to go anywhere at all.
It was a pretty interesting prompt, and the response came to me almost immediately, but in my usual fashion, I wrote it as a word document and "hid" it on my desk top so that I could reconsider submittal. I kept going back to it and refining a little bit. In truth I didn't change much at all, just smoothed in into a short, short story. But I was still conflicted, I don't usually let people read my writing, I have never actually completed anything for years.
But, when she posted that time was running out, I bit the bullet and sent it before I changed my mind. And, she liked it, and I won a book. There were 4 winners, out of 8 submittals, I read them and they were really good, so I am flattered to be in that company.
That in itself is really cool, but something that really meant a lot to me was when I let Himself read it (that was very scary) he liked it too, in fact, he said that he wanted to know what was on the next page.
SO, maybe I'll have to take it the next step and see where it goes - if it wants to go anywhere at all.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wishing to be more tech savvy....
So, while I catch up with at least 4 days of online information; mail, Facebook, blogs and such, I am listening to a wonderful CD that I recieved as a birthday gift. It is Ladysmith Black Mambazo, and they have a wide variety of folks performing with them, including Mellissa Ethridge, Sarah McLachlan, Natalie Merchant amd several more. It is inspiring, as always, to hear the wonderful sound that just voices can make.
I have also come across a couple of really inspirational videos, which I'll see if I am savvy enough to link in this space, I managed on FB.I hope this works, it's hard for me to tell because I don't get the clip image as a guide on this page. I'll have to ask someone who is more adept for assistance.
Anyway, this first one brought me to tears, this is truely the power of gratitude. What a blessing this young man is, and talking his story to kids is so affirming.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1199174473976&ref=mf
This one made me smile. I am a fan of inclusion, knowing that we are all Children of a loving God (Goddess/ Spirit/Power, or whatever rocks with you). This is truely the power of Love, and the manifestation of faith.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Fuccvideos%23p%2Fu%2F2%2Fz9kCGWKhlH8&h=fa255dfc7b21b8d27f79a3356c36566d
I have also come across a couple of really inspirational videos, which I'll see if I am savvy enough to link in this space, I managed on FB.I hope this works, it's hard for me to tell because I don't get the clip image as a guide on this page. I'll have to ask someone who is more adept for assistance.
Anyway, this first one brought me to tears, this is truely the power of gratitude. What a blessing this young man is, and talking his story to kids is so affirming.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1199174473976&ref=mf
This one made me smile. I am a fan of inclusion, knowing that we are all Children of a loving God (Goddess/ Spirit/Power, or whatever rocks with you). This is truely the power of Love, and the manifestation of faith.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fuser%2Fuccvideos%23p%2Fu%2F2%2Fz9kCGWKhlH8&h=fa255dfc7b21b8d27f79a3356c36566d
And for fun, some summer fun with a couple of silly kids:
So, someone let me know if I did it right and you can get to these pieces, or, look them up on my FB page. Have a Blessed evening.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Health Care and I......
There is so much going on about HCR, lots of celebrating, but a whole lot of meaness too. Through this whole process I have been unable to understand the meanness, and hope that it is mis-understanding and not a genuine dislike of everyone else. Of course, I know that a lot of the "anti" stuff is plain misinformation, put out in a way to frighten people and cause them to react against anything different.
I have experienced the lack of insurance, even when paying premiums, and found it to be devastating. We lost everything, all of our savings, anything that could be sold, we came home to a borrowed house with our clothes and a few pieces of furniture, mostly for the baby - everything fit in a pickup and small trailer.
We had the advantage of a family who supported us, and were able to help with very basics, like childcare for Dr. appointments. We were also blessed with understanding AFDC counselors who transferred us from state-to-state and kept us from stupid mistakes that would have lost what little coverage we were able to get. And, while the medical coverage was good, living on $352 per month, with an additional $150 in food stamps, was beyond challenging.
The worst parts were the little, minor, humiliations - the lady at the gift store who wouldn't take a check because we were on welfare, the "Christian" ladies at the church who wouldn't give out cheese and milk subsidies unless they approved of your lifestyle (in a very small town, if you go out to the tavern.....), the salesman who took our car in trade, but gave us no credit for it, because we were over a barrel; yes, I do know that isn't the way it's supposed to be, but this is a life that a lot of people face every single day.
The biggest cause of bankruptcy in this country is medical expenses. More people lose their homes because they, or a family member, got sick or they lost their job and whatever health insurance that came with it. People literally in the streets because of illness, or unemployment, or even/often both.
I heard someone today talk about how in Russia and Sweden if a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer she is sent home to die, and Americans are stupid and try to heal everyone. Now, it was a guy, and I was tempted to just judge him and let it go, and I was also tempted to jump up and tell him he's stupid, but both approaches strike me as pretty unenlightend or very outside my public persona 's comfort zone. And, even though they said it on FOX, it isn't true.
For all the stories, there are so many benefits to knowing you can go to hospital and get treated, no matter what. Yes, I heard about the long waits and prioritized treatment in Canada, but my family tells me otherwise. Treatment may not be availble in every medical center, but it is available. If you need a hospital bed or convalescent center, they don't send you home after 3 days because that's the protocol covered by your insurance, you stay until you are well.
My friend's daughter, studying in England on a student visa, not even a citizen, ended up in the hospital for weeks. She was so sick her folks flew over and racked up a pretty good hotel bill while she recovered over 3 weeks, and were stunned when there was no bill, none, because that's how they operate.
That's a wonderful thing about Australia too, my friends there don't complain that they can get treatment when they need it, nor do my cousins in New Zealand.
Of course, there are penalties for taking care of each other in this fashion, most of these countries have higher taxes. They don't just cover health care though, they also pay for schools (imagine no levies for operating expenses), roads, libraries, police and fire protection, and all of the rest of those civilized things that people need.
For me, it comes down to being responsible for each other. It is a tenet of every major religion to take care of the least in society, it is the basis of our humanity. For every child or grandmother or veteran who is on the street, riding buses to keep warm, staying awake all night because it isn't safe to sleep, finding a sense of betterment living in a car instead of living in a box, I am less than I could be, because at the very bottom of it all, we are all one.
I have experienced the lack of insurance, even when paying premiums, and found it to be devastating. We lost everything, all of our savings, anything that could be sold, we came home to a borrowed house with our clothes and a few pieces of furniture, mostly for the baby - everything fit in a pickup and small trailer.
We had the advantage of a family who supported us, and were able to help with very basics, like childcare for Dr. appointments. We were also blessed with understanding AFDC counselors who transferred us from state-to-state and kept us from stupid mistakes that would have lost what little coverage we were able to get. And, while the medical coverage was good, living on $352 per month, with an additional $150 in food stamps, was beyond challenging.
The worst parts were the little, minor, humiliations - the lady at the gift store who wouldn't take a check because we were on welfare, the "Christian" ladies at the church who wouldn't give out cheese and milk subsidies unless they approved of your lifestyle (in a very small town, if you go out to the tavern.....), the salesman who took our car in trade, but gave us no credit for it, because we were over a barrel; yes, I do know that isn't the way it's supposed to be, but this is a life that a lot of people face every single day.
The biggest cause of bankruptcy in this country is medical expenses. More people lose their homes because they, or a family member, got sick or they lost their job and whatever health insurance that came with it. People literally in the streets because of illness, or unemployment, or even/often both.
I heard someone today talk about how in Russia and Sweden if a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer she is sent home to die, and Americans are stupid and try to heal everyone. Now, it was a guy, and I was tempted to just judge him and let it go, and I was also tempted to jump up and tell him he's stupid, but both approaches strike me as pretty unenlightend or very outside my public persona 's comfort zone. And, even though they said it on FOX, it isn't true.
For all the stories, there are so many benefits to knowing you can go to hospital and get treated, no matter what. Yes, I heard about the long waits and prioritized treatment in Canada, but my family tells me otherwise. Treatment may not be availble in every medical center, but it is available. If you need a hospital bed or convalescent center, they don't send you home after 3 days because that's the protocol covered by your insurance, you stay until you are well.
My friend's daughter, studying in England on a student visa, not even a citizen, ended up in the hospital for weeks. She was so sick her folks flew over and racked up a pretty good hotel bill while she recovered over 3 weeks, and were stunned when there was no bill, none, because that's how they operate.
That's a wonderful thing about Australia too, my friends there don't complain that they can get treatment when they need it, nor do my cousins in New Zealand.
Of course, there are penalties for taking care of each other in this fashion, most of these countries have higher taxes. They don't just cover health care though, they also pay for schools (imagine no levies for operating expenses), roads, libraries, police and fire protection, and all of the rest of those civilized things that people need.
For me, it comes down to being responsible for each other. It is a tenet of every major religion to take care of the least in society, it is the basis of our humanity. For every child or grandmother or veteran who is on the street, riding buses to keep warm, staying awake all night because it isn't safe to sleep, finding a sense of betterment living in a car instead of living in a box, I am less than I could be, because at the very bottom of it all, we are all one.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Family and other dilemmas
So, it's been kind of an action packed couple of weeks. Youngest child's car died creating a minor crisis for her and, of course, for us. Then, my car had to be towed to the shop, but fortunately while scary it turned out to be a warranty covered event. Then, Dad had to go to hospital after getting a post surgical infection.
So, I put about 500 miles on the car between Thursday and Sunday: going to Olympia to get youngest child and bring her here to check out the car I found, which she liked so I bought, and she took it home; and going to Bellingham twice to spend time with Dad at the hospital.
The trip to the hospital may have been fortuitous -it seems he has CHF, which he was treated for in Hawaii 3 years ago, but hasn't been going to follow up with a cardiologist since, and he needs a valve replaced. He's really very sick, and now has to decide if he's going to have open heart surgery. Having been through that with Himself, I'm not sure that he can stand the recuperative process, or if Mom can do the care. It's really a challenge for both parties and they are both in their 9th decades.
Right now, that's all I can say - I'll update later as things evolve.
So, I put about 500 miles on the car between Thursday and Sunday: going to Olympia to get youngest child and bring her here to check out the car I found, which she liked so I bought, and she took it home; and going to Bellingham twice to spend time with Dad at the hospital.
The trip to the hospital may have been fortuitous -it seems he has CHF, which he was treated for in Hawaii 3 years ago, but hasn't been going to follow up with a cardiologist since, and he needs a valve replaced. He's really very sick, and now has to decide if he's going to have open heart surgery. Having been through that with Himself, I'm not sure that he can stand the recuperative process, or if Mom can do the care. It's really a challenge for both parties and they are both in their 9th decades.
Right now, that's all I can say - I'll update later as things evolve.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Could Your Enemy Walk Through Your Mind Unharmed?
On Sunday, I attended Unity Church in Lynnwood, it was Youth Sunday, and instead of being downstairs with the teens, we were all upstairs participating in the service. This is an evolving process, with the teens wanting t do the whole service, and actually getting to participate in it less and less. That is an issue for another blog though.
We were presented with an interesting challenge on Sunday. Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.'s principles are a season now, the 64 days from January 30th to April 4th. Of course, we are challenged to practice non-violence for the whole period, but more than that we are challenged to practice non-violence in our thoughts. "Could your enemy walk through your mind unharmed?"
This is similar to the Unity approach to Lent - Let's Eliminate Negative Thoughts - which is very difficult, (and not nearly so difficult as giving up coffee or chocolate).
This is an aspect of the power of positive thinking but more than that, it is focusing on how easily we fall into the habit of mind games. Fantasy versions of life that depend on harm to someone or something else, revenge or repayment for all of those little or great slights..
Evidently we have about 50,000 thoughts a day. If we are conscious of them at all, we are not really getting many, so what we aren't really aware of is directing our lives. This is not my idea of a healthy life, I don't want to be run around by my subconscious repeating stupid things I thought were valid beliefs when I was 10 or 21 or just born. I want to create something better and bigger than I can currently imagine. Basically, I want to erase those old tapes (there's some real 70's language), I want to drop those limitations and borders I have put on God and experience the unbounded life that is truly out there.
This reminds me of a story a minister told one day - she got up to give her talk and said she appreciated that everyone had wished her well on her recent vacation and she really didn't have pictures of wonderful beaches or beautiful landscapes to share because she had really been recovering from surgery. She went on to reveal that she had had elective cosmetic surgery, which she had decided to talk about because she realized that the little voice in her head had made her feel inadequate to the point of surgical enhancement, which she intellectually knew was a lie, because as a child of God she was created perfectly, her heart had not yet fully gotten the message. It was a perfect example of how an uncontrolled thought could taint our aspect of ourselves. Her childhood memory of someone claiming to know what family she was from by her "squinty Cherokee eyes" dogged her thoughts and challenged her self image for 40 years until she finally had surgery to change the shape of her eyes.
In her case, the punishment was self directed, but the principle is the same, she could not walk unharmed through her own mind, she felt inadequate and unattractive from the time she was eight years old.
Most of us are vulnerable to this process, we have limited our careers, our aspirations, our whole lives by thoughts we have carried and beliefs we formed, often unknowingly. I have practiced several things over the years that help overcome the "tapes". Of course, Unity teaches Denials and Affirmations. Myrtle Fillmore and Charles, founder's of Unity, used denials and affirmations to heal long standing illnesses. The process is to identify the things that are hanging us up, deny or release them, and affirm what it is that you want to be running in your mind.
In the 70's Sondra Ray put out a book called "I Deserve Love" . It was based on the denials and affirmations format, although she didn't call it that, and also on the principle that doing things over and over create a habit, and we can do the negative ones or consciously replace them with positive images and words.
The process she used was to write down your affirmation, and then write down everything that comes up opposed to it - at first that can be pages!! And, it is really revealing, and surprising, what is stored in our brains. Then do it again. Each time the responses will come, until you have affirmed the positive so many times you actually have changed that part of yourself.
And, with repetition we create/increase the grooves in our brains, making more folds and wrinkles, increasing brain surface.
There are so many pluses to this process. Freedom from self doubt, improved self image and ability, and improved brain function. Whoohoo!
We were presented with an interesting challenge on Sunday. Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.'s principles are a season now, the 64 days from January 30th to April 4th. Of course, we are challenged to practice non-violence for the whole period, but more than that we are challenged to practice non-violence in our thoughts. "Could your enemy walk through your mind unharmed?"
This is similar to the Unity approach to Lent - Let's Eliminate Negative Thoughts - which is very difficult, (and not nearly so difficult as giving up coffee or chocolate).
This is an aspect of the power of positive thinking but more than that, it is focusing on how easily we fall into the habit of mind games. Fantasy versions of life that depend on harm to someone or something else, revenge or repayment for all of those little or great slights..
Evidently we have about 50,000 thoughts a day. If we are conscious of them at all, we are not really getting many, so what we aren't really aware of is directing our lives. This is not my idea of a healthy life, I don't want to be run around by my subconscious repeating stupid things I thought were valid beliefs when I was 10 or 21 or just born. I want to create something better and bigger than I can currently imagine. Basically, I want to erase those old tapes (there's some real 70's language), I want to drop those limitations and borders I have put on God and experience the unbounded life that is truly out there.
This reminds me of a story a minister told one day - she got up to give her talk and said she appreciated that everyone had wished her well on her recent vacation and she really didn't have pictures of wonderful beaches or beautiful landscapes to share because she had really been recovering from surgery. She went on to reveal that she had had elective cosmetic surgery, which she had decided to talk about because she realized that the little voice in her head had made her feel inadequate to the point of surgical enhancement, which she intellectually knew was a lie, because as a child of God she was created perfectly, her heart had not yet fully gotten the message. It was a perfect example of how an uncontrolled thought could taint our aspect of ourselves. Her childhood memory of someone claiming to know what family she was from by her "squinty Cherokee eyes" dogged her thoughts and challenged her self image for 40 years until she finally had surgery to change the shape of her eyes.
In her case, the punishment was self directed, but the principle is the same, she could not walk unharmed through her own mind, she felt inadequate and unattractive from the time she was eight years old.
Most of us are vulnerable to this process, we have limited our careers, our aspirations, our whole lives by thoughts we have carried and beliefs we formed, often unknowingly. I have practiced several things over the years that help overcome the "tapes". Of course, Unity teaches Denials and Affirmations. Myrtle Fillmore and Charles, founder's of Unity, used denials and affirmations to heal long standing illnesses. The process is to identify the things that are hanging us up, deny or release them, and affirm what it is that you want to be running in your mind.
In the 70's Sondra Ray put out a book called "I Deserve Love" . It was based on the denials and affirmations format, although she didn't call it that, and also on the principle that doing things over and over create a habit, and we can do the negative ones or consciously replace them with positive images and words.
The process she used was to write down your affirmation, and then write down everything that comes up opposed to it - at first that can be pages!! And, it is really revealing, and surprising, what is stored in our brains. Then do it again. Each time the responses will come, until you have affirmed the positive so many times you actually have changed that part of yourself.
And, with repetition we create/increase the grooves in our brains, making more folds and wrinkles, increasing brain surface.
There are so many pluses to this process. Freedom from self doubt, improved self image and ability, and improved brain function. Whoohoo!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Wishes and Dreams
So, Fran posts this lovely blog about wishes - "if you could be/do anything" types of thoughts. What would you do in an ideal life - one, of course, with no obligations, bills, family issues??
My responses, as of today - I'd like to play the piano, well enough to accompany myself, and I would love to perform. I sing where-ever they'll have me now, just expand the profile and remove the obligations....who knows where that could lead. And guitar, I used to play upright base, and I'd like to take that up again and get good at it. And maybe xylophone...I'm jsut saying, one lives here, so someone should play it,it's a shame to waste an instrument.
That ties with my desire to teach, I have a couple of courses that I have done before, Prosperity (Living Abundantly) and Sacred Secrets, and a draft for one in the Gifts of Spirit. And, I would like to develop more pastrol counseling, which is teaching of a form, particularly with teens and women.
I'd like to know several languages, fluently. Russian, Spanish & French (so I could talk with Papa), something exotic.It should be easy for me, it''s really music in another form.
Travel is next: back to St. Petersburg for at least 3 weeks - I want to spend a couple of hours a day in the Hermitage, that's about as much I can absorb at one time. And wander the streets, looking up all the places I recognised from the Russian novels I'd read and watching the street artitsts. Drinking tea, roaming through museums and galleries, being generally indulgent.
I'd like to visit Scotland and look up my Dad's side of the family, and Northern England to find my mother's people. And, of course, trek across Canada and vsit all of my cousins, and see all of the places I used to live. Dad says that I should see Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, too, so that sounds like the whole "sea to shining sea" thing. Not to mention that I still need to visit 10 of the US states and several capital cities.
I cna see that I'm going to have to make it to my full 120 if I'm going to accomplish this "bucket list". lol
So, what would you do/be if there were no limits???
My responses, as of today - I'd like to play the piano, well enough to accompany myself, and I would love to perform. I sing where-ever they'll have me now, just expand the profile and remove the obligations....who knows where that could lead. And guitar, I used to play upright base, and I'd like to take that up again and get good at it. And maybe xylophone...I'm jsut saying, one lives here, so someone should play it,it's a shame to waste an instrument.
That ties with my desire to teach, I have a couple of courses that I have done before, Prosperity (Living Abundantly) and Sacred Secrets, and a draft for one in the Gifts of Spirit. And, I would like to develop more pastrol counseling, which is teaching of a form, particularly with teens and women.
I'd like to know several languages, fluently. Russian, Spanish & French (so I could talk with Papa), something exotic.It should be easy for me, it''s really music in another form.
Travel is next: back to St. Petersburg for at least 3 weeks - I want to spend a couple of hours a day in the Hermitage, that's about as much I can absorb at one time. And wander the streets, looking up all the places I recognised from the Russian novels I'd read and watching the street artitsts. Drinking tea, roaming through museums and galleries, being generally indulgent.
I'd like to visit Scotland and look up my Dad's side of the family, and Northern England to find my mother's people. And, of course, trek across Canada and vsit all of my cousins, and see all of the places I used to live. Dad says that I should see Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, too, so that sounds like the whole "sea to shining sea" thing. Not to mention that I still need to visit 10 of the US states and several capital cities.
I cna see that I'm going to have to make it to my full 120 if I'm going to accomplish this "bucket list". lol
So, what would you do/be if there were no limits???
Sunday, January 24, 2010
YTC - Retreat, the afterglow
I just returned form a weekend with a bunch (61) of like minded friends. Youth Team Conference is a gathering of people from Unity churches around the NW region who work in their church's youth programs. It is an event filled with music and dancing and celebration, as well as comparing notes, providing insight and examples and offering suggestions.
I work with high school aged people, the Youth of Unity (YOU), so my focus meetings were with other "Sponsors" of that age group. Each year there is someone new, and their perspective and quetions help all of us rise to a higher level and look at what we do from a new perspective.
The issues are usually how to add members, dealing with teen problems, fundraising, churh family integration and getting board support and recognition.
At other times during the weekend we met with small groups based on a interest item we were asked to respond to during an opening process. I ended up in the "Effective Communication" group, with 5 others who are also trainers or teachers. We are all YOU sponsors, so had a common bond to build on. We discussed the curricula we were provided and discovered our reacctions to light an ddark. Quite frankly, the idea of being in a cavern with the lights out for any lenghth of time, which was one of the images we were given to discuss, doesn't appeal. Even with a very cogent descrition by a group mate of her perspective of the dark as a warm protective hug.
I did have some wonderful recollections though, of building forts and tunnels out of hay bales in the barn when we were kids. We spent happy hours in the dark, talking and plotting other adventures. My parents would likely have come up with some creative punishment if they'd known, but that's probably one of the reasons it was so fun.
Some of the best parts of the weekend are meal times and free time, when we can get to know people from other churches and other age group programs, and generally network and bond.
There was a very interesting, non church appropriate discussion at lunch about experiences with drugs taken in years gone by, as well as a discussion of antics of parents who drank too much and did totally bizarre things in the name of child care.
I have to shout out our musician, Mark Stanton Welch, who is not only a talented musician, but is a true spiritual leader. He privides a wonderful backdrop to the regional team and his own workshops are stimulating and fun (and exausting, but worth the effort of dancing prayers in community).
All in all, it was a great weekend. Every year they ask for comments, you know "what can we do better", and every year I ask that the conference be extended an extra day. No luck so far, but there's always hope. :-)
I work with high school aged people, the Youth of Unity (YOU), so my focus meetings were with other "Sponsors" of that age group. Each year there is someone new, and their perspective and quetions help all of us rise to a higher level and look at what we do from a new perspective.
The issues are usually how to add members, dealing with teen problems, fundraising, churh family integration and getting board support and recognition.
At other times during the weekend we met with small groups based on a interest item we were asked to respond to during an opening process. I ended up in the "Effective Communication" group, with 5 others who are also trainers or teachers. We are all YOU sponsors, so had a common bond to build on. We discussed the curricula we were provided and discovered our reacctions to light an ddark. Quite frankly, the idea of being in a cavern with the lights out for any lenghth of time, which was one of the images we were given to discuss, doesn't appeal. Even with a very cogent descrition by a group mate of her perspective of the dark as a warm protective hug.
I did have some wonderful recollections though, of building forts and tunnels out of hay bales in the barn when we were kids. We spent happy hours in the dark, talking and plotting other adventures. My parents would likely have come up with some creative punishment if they'd known, but that's probably one of the reasons it was so fun.
Some of the best parts of the weekend are meal times and free time, when we can get to know people from other churches and other age group programs, and generally network and bond.
There was a very interesting, non church appropriate discussion at lunch about experiences with drugs taken in years gone by, as well as a discussion of antics of parents who drank too much and did totally bizarre things in the name of child care.
I have to shout out our musician, Mark Stanton Welch, who is not only a talented musician, but is a true spiritual leader. He privides a wonderful backdrop to the regional team and his own workshops are stimulating and fun (and exausting, but worth the effort of dancing prayers in community).
All in all, it was a great weekend. Every year they ask for comments, you know "what can we do better", and every year I ask that the conference be extended an extra day. No luck so far, but there's always hope. :-)
Monday, January 11, 2010
Care Giving and the state of things
I have now spent almost 28 years as a care giver. I didn’t train for it, and I am likely not anywhere near the best, but in our case, I was the only so I have had to learn a whole bunch of things about caring for someone who is seriously ill.
It is one thing to train to be a nurse, aide, or even doctor, and that was one of the potential career options expected for the women in our family, or education. We had a lot of teachers, principles, professors, nurses, and some crossover nursing instructors. I never wanted to fit in there anywhere. So here I am, taking care of a sick person.
Life.
I can honestly say that we have had a learn- as- you-go experience. Not just my care giving, but the whole chronic illness thing. First, Himself came down with pneumonia that wouldn’t go away, then he was hospitalized and tested for 3 weeks and we found out there were a lot of things he didn’t have, but no definitive name for what he did have. After a series of treatments that didn’t work we left the care he was under, against their advice, and moved 1,300 miles back to the Seattle area where we had family support. (Since our oldest was not quite two at the time, I needed all the family I could get).
Several months and a couple of crisis later he was hospitalized again and went through another bunch of tests with the same results. We still didn’t have a definitive diagnosis for whatever it was that was wrong with him. At that point he seemed to resign himself to dying and spent his days drinking coffee or Pepsi and smoking Pall Malls on our porch.
A serious crisis, a collapsed lung, and a several day hospitalization led us to a doctor with conviction. He explained that the chances weren’t good, but might be increased significantly by surgery. By this time Himself was a stick figure, about 60 pounds underweight and I didn’t think he could withstand the surgery itself, but he went for it.
At that time, 1983, he smoked about a pack a day, sometimes more, and no doctor would tell him definitively to quit. He was even allowed to smoke on the gurney on his way to the operating room.
(One would think that after having ½ of one lung removed, smoking would go away, but no, he smoked for five more years.)
After surgery, tissue samples were sent all over the country for analysis and diagnosis, and once again we found a whole list of things he didn’t have. It was almost 10 years later when we finally were given a diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis. And it wasn’t until last summer, during one of his two hospitalizations for pneumonia, that I learned form a pulmonologist that it was likely that long because the diagnosis hadn’t been developed yet. Himself, being who he is has a relatively rare version.
Over the years we have had relatively calm periods and acute stages of his illness, and of course he is more suseptable to "the thing that's going around". He was able to help by getting kids to school and fixing dinner 3 or 4 times a week, and some years when he was well enough to work a little bit.
Over the years he has developed a secondary immune system illness, caused by being ill for so long, as well as congestive heart failure five years ago, from which he recovered fully, and a quadruple by-pass a year and half ago, which they weren't going to do because of his history but he has come back so far that all of his docs are amazed, - it's not 100% yet, but he is determined to get all of his mobility and strength back.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, except to say that from all of this I have learned a couple of very important things: everyone needs an advocate when they are ill, someone to listen to the medical people and translate as necessary, and stand up and question when that is necessary also; and, will, the power of the mind, positive thoughts, whatever you want to call it, is the most important thing in some one's recovery.
It is one thing to train to be a nurse, aide, or even doctor, and that was one of the potential career options expected for the women in our family, or education. We had a lot of teachers, principles, professors, nurses, and some crossover nursing instructors. I never wanted to fit in there anywhere. So here I am, taking care of a sick person.
Life.
I can honestly say that we have had a learn- as- you-go experience. Not just my care giving, but the whole chronic illness thing. First, Himself came down with pneumonia that wouldn’t go away, then he was hospitalized and tested for 3 weeks and we found out there were a lot of things he didn’t have, but no definitive name for what he did have. After a series of treatments that didn’t work we left the care he was under, against their advice, and moved 1,300 miles back to the Seattle area where we had family support. (Since our oldest was not quite two at the time, I needed all the family I could get).
Several months and a couple of crisis later he was hospitalized again and went through another bunch of tests with the same results. We still didn’t have a definitive diagnosis for whatever it was that was wrong with him. At that point he seemed to resign himself to dying and spent his days drinking coffee or Pepsi and smoking Pall Malls on our porch.
A serious crisis, a collapsed lung, and a several day hospitalization led us to a doctor with conviction. He explained that the chances weren’t good, but might be increased significantly by surgery. By this time Himself was a stick figure, about 60 pounds underweight and I didn’t think he could withstand the surgery itself, but he went for it.
At that time, 1983, he smoked about a pack a day, sometimes more, and no doctor would tell him definitively to quit. He was even allowed to smoke on the gurney on his way to the operating room.
(One would think that after having ½ of one lung removed, smoking would go away, but no, he smoked for five more years.)
After surgery, tissue samples were sent all over the country for analysis and diagnosis, and once again we found a whole list of things he didn’t have. It was almost 10 years later when we finally were given a diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis. And it wasn’t until last summer, during one of his two hospitalizations for pneumonia, that I learned form a pulmonologist that it was likely that long because the diagnosis hadn’t been developed yet. Himself, being who he is has a relatively rare version.
Over the years we have had relatively calm periods and acute stages of his illness, and of course he is more suseptable to "the thing that's going around". He was able to help by getting kids to school and fixing dinner 3 or 4 times a week, and some years when he was well enough to work a little bit.
Over the years he has developed a secondary immune system illness, caused by being ill for so long, as well as congestive heart failure five years ago, from which he recovered fully, and a quadruple by-pass a year and half ago, which they weren't going to do because of his history but he has come back so far that all of his docs are amazed, - it's not 100% yet, but he is determined to get all of his mobility and strength back.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, except to say that from all of this I have learned a couple of very important things: everyone needs an advocate when they are ill, someone to listen to the medical people and translate as necessary, and stand up and question when that is necessary also; and, will, the power of the mind, positive thoughts, whatever you want to call it, is the most important thing in some one's recovery.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Teaching Old Dogs, or somesuch
I started a class today. My voice coach is offering a music theory class for adults, so I decided that I would try it out. After a lifetime of music I don't believe I have ever had a formal theory class. To be sure, I have had a lot of theory incorporated into various lessons, but nothing like what I'm undertaking now.
One of the great things was realizing that I have a lot of the basics, and the terminology. I am still intimidated by the assignments and the staff paper. The thought of putting marks on that pristine page and not doing it neatly and legibly is terrifying, and I didn't even have nuns for bad memories like Chrissie did.
And the thought of actually trying anything on the piano! Phhhtt!
But how silly is that, right? what is the piano for if not to try stuff out and be able to hear the things that are described on paper.
I am sure this will provide lots of opportunity for insight, griping and feeling I can't possibly get "it" for the next few weeks. then, based on previous efforts, I'm hopeful that the light will go on and I will know jsut exactly what the lesson is and how it applies.
One of the great things was realizing that I have a lot of the basics, and the terminology. I am still intimidated by the assignments and the staff paper. The thought of putting marks on that pristine page and not doing it neatly and legibly is terrifying, and I didn't even have nuns for bad memories like Chrissie did.
And the thought of actually trying anything on the piano! Phhhtt!
But how silly is that, right? what is the piano for if not to try stuff out and be able to hear the things that are described on paper.
I am sure this will provide lots of opportunity for insight, griping and feeling I can't possibly get "it" for the next few weeks. then, based on previous efforts, I'm hopeful that the light will go on and I will know jsut exactly what the lesson is and how it applies.
Friday, January 8, 2010
I am joy in expression
Joy
I am joy in expression
There is no need to ever wait for joy. My joy does not depend on reaching or achieving certain goals. I don't have to graduate from college to feel joy, nor do I need to be married to feel joy. I needn't postpone my joy until I've retired or reached a certain level of success. Joy is a state of mind, arising from realization and gratitude, accessible to me at all times.
I focus on the joy that underlies my life each day. When I awake, I feel joy. Throughout my day, I give thanks for the people who share my journey. At the end of the day, I am grateful for each experience. I reflect on the blessings in my life and feel joy welling up within me. I never wait for joy. I choose joy in this very moment.
My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy.--James 1:2
This is the blessing that I got from the electronic version of Daily Word today. It is a little inspiration that shows up in my mail box every day. I usually don't see it until evening, but I always get a little boost from it.
Also, since Daily Word has been around for about 120 years, it is really interesting, and perhaps a little comforting, to see the continuity. I think of all the folks over the years who got the little monthly magazine full of thoughts for the day, each with an affirmation and a scripture quote (some more relevant than others, but hey...), often a story of success from someone who has learned to activate affirmative prayer in their life, and in recent years, a couple of letters from people who have asked for prayer support. All those people saying the same affirmation each day, what an incredible force for good!
I mentioned the people who ask for prayer support, and it is also a reassurance to me that for all that time, there has been a group of people praying in shifts for whomever asks. They take requests by letter, phone or email, and are always willing to help turn problems over to Spirit.
Several of my friends have great stories from their student days, when they volunteered to take shifts in the prayer room. (And isn't it another amazing thing that there are always enough volunteers available?) It seems one of the most common themes in the stories is that you often get calls or letters to answer that contain the thing you most need to work on in your own life. So, if you are having relationship issues, you are likely to be the one who gets the calls from folks who are also experienceing problems with their relationships and looking for assitance.
I have always thought it would be very difficult to pray with people in person or on the phone, out loud. My friend Richard tells a story about that - it seems that the prayer room has a "helps" book for each volunteer, with a card on each subject with prayer prompts to get past rough spots. He got a call one night, a real serious, scary thing going on in someone's life right then, and there was no card for that particular crisis! He claims that in his panic to get the right words and "save the day", he went completly blank, a real brain freeze. The next thing he knew was hearing someone praying with the caller, perfectly saying all of the right words, then he realized that it was him. Somehow his brain freeze allowed his essential self to be there, even when he wasn't concious of it, or perhaps, because he wasn't concious of it.
Which then leads me to ... letting go and letting God (or Spirit or Goddess or whomever entity designation fits) means being willing to be in/act on the unconcious?
This is very difficult for me, all intellect, planning, orderly processes go out the window and the intuitive becomes the governor. Scary stuff for a recovering Anglican. What could happen if we were essentially and honestly the divine selves that we carry within us? What if we were truely expressions of Joy?
The possibility boggles my mind.
I am joy in expression
There is no need to ever wait for joy. My joy does not depend on reaching or achieving certain goals. I don't have to graduate from college to feel joy, nor do I need to be married to feel joy. I needn't postpone my joy until I've retired or reached a certain level of success. Joy is a state of mind, arising from realization and gratitude, accessible to me at all times.
I focus on the joy that underlies my life each day. When I awake, I feel joy. Throughout my day, I give thanks for the people who share my journey. At the end of the day, I am grateful for each experience. I reflect on the blessings in my life and feel joy welling up within me. I never wait for joy. I choose joy in this very moment.
My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy.--James 1:2
This is the blessing that I got from the electronic version of Daily Word today. It is a little inspiration that shows up in my mail box every day. I usually don't see it until evening, but I always get a little boost from it.
Also, since Daily Word has been around for about 120 years, it is really interesting, and perhaps a little comforting, to see the continuity. I think of all the folks over the years who got the little monthly magazine full of thoughts for the day, each with an affirmation and a scripture quote (some more relevant than others, but hey...), often a story of success from someone who has learned to activate affirmative prayer in their life, and in recent years, a couple of letters from people who have asked for prayer support. All those people saying the same affirmation each day, what an incredible force for good!
I mentioned the people who ask for prayer support, and it is also a reassurance to me that for all that time, there has been a group of people praying in shifts for whomever asks. They take requests by letter, phone or email, and are always willing to help turn problems over to Spirit.
Several of my friends have great stories from their student days, when they volunteered to take shifts in the prayer room. (And isn't it another amazing thing that there are always enough volunteers available?) It seems one of the most common themes in the stories is that you often get calls or letters to answer that contain the thing you most need to work on in your own life. So, if you are having relationship issues, you are likely to be the one who gets the calls from folks who are also experienceing problems with their relationships and looking for assitance.
I have always thought it would be very difficult to pray with people in person or on the phone, out loud. My friend Richard tells a story about that - it seems that the prayer room has a "helps" book for each volunteer, with a card on each subject with prayer prompts to get past rough spots. He got a call one night, a real serious, scary thing going on in someone's life right then, and there was no card for that particular crisis! He claims that in his panic to get the right words and "save the day", he went completly blank, a real brain freeze. The next thing he knew was hearing someone praying with the caller, perfectly saying all of the right words, then he realized that it was him. Somehow his brain freeze allowed his essential self to be there, even when he wasn't concious of it, or perhaps, because he wasn't concious of it.
Which then leads me to ... letting go and letting God (or Spirit or Goddess or whomever entity designation fits) means being willing to be in/act on the unconcious?
This is very difficult for me, all intellect, planning, orderly processes go out the window and the intuitive becomes the governor. Scary stuff for a recovering Anglican. What could happen if we were essentially and honestly the divine selves that we carry within us? What if we were truely expressions of Joy?
The possibility boggles my mind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
